Grandfather and Grandmother?!

Every culture has polite and proper ways to address people.  As children, we were severely reprimanded if we failed to use Mr./Mrs. before the name of an older person.  There has been a progression of names that people have called us over the past 20+ years in Africa.  First, we were called "Tantine" (Aunt) or "Tonton" (Uncle).  Or they used the names "sister" or "brother" with our first names.   I was often introduced as "Madame Tom."

Then as the years passed, we began hearing the terms "mama" and "papa" in combination with our first names: Mama Marcy and Papa Tom. We understood that it was a term of respect.  But last week, we received the ultimate blow.  Tom was walking home from the dorms late one night with some university students and they said  "Goodnight Grand-Père" (grandfather); "Give our greetings to Grand-Mère (grandmother)."  That would be me!!

Grandfather and Grandmother?!?!?  Do we look that bad?   We were a bit alarmed so yesterday, when Tom was again addressed as Grandfather on campus, he told the student that I had been a bit insulted by that title.  Tom explained to him that in American culture, being called Grandfather only occurs if you have biological grandchildren and usually conveys the idea of being old, past one's prime, on the sidelines; respected, yes, but kind of worn out and lacking the vigor of youth.  Well, now it was the student who was taken aback!  He explained to Tom that in Niger culture to be called "Grandfather" had nothing to do with having biological grandchildren and carried no negative connotations but conveys only the highest respect and honor and dignity.  It conveys the idea of wisdom and insight, and then he added the French word which translated means "formidable" and he insisted on that word.  He also added that to be raised by a grandfather was even a greater blessing than to be raised by one's own biological father.

So, I'll just have to "get over it!" mentally, see myself as still young and adapt to my new host country and culture.

Yours truly and formidably,

Grandfather Tom and Grandmother Marcy!!